Well that’s 2018 done and dusted and it’s been something of a mixed bag on a personal level. I didn’t have any specific plans going into the year a I’ve made resolutions in the past and have felt that I’ve put undue pressure on myself which is a little walk, so for 2018 there were basic goals for look after myself a bit better and work on my happiness and to be fair some progress was made on those fronts.
The first thing that happened was that I got myself a new job. It’s at the same company but was a promotion in a completely new department I’d been looking to move into for a couple of years and doing a job I’d been interested in for at least as long. It came at the right time too really as I’d been in my previous job for 5 years so the new challenge was definitely needed.
I finally started getting my sleeve done at last. made some good progress and need to get the inside of the arm filled in at some point (though may pussy out of that and just get something else there) and get my older tattoos gone over as the new tattoo makes them look even older and faded than they already are. That’s going to be the plan for the start of this year as well as figuring out what to do to fill out my forearm and cover the scars that are there.
Another thing i’m pretty pleased with is how much I’ve been writing over the course of the year. My mate started a gaming website (www.twobeardgaming.com) so I’ve been doing blogs and game reviews for that. I think having a specific subject to focus on, I think my brain having so many things going on is why I struggle to write on my blog of late, I struggle to nail down topics and stick with them. Hopefully I can use this as a springboard to get back to my actual blog, and have some proper topics I want to write about aside from games.
I got to take a couple of pretty awesome holidays which was obviously nice. I went to Lisbon in September for the wedding of a friend, and some other friends and I decided to make a week of it. Lisbon is awesome, though not ideal for lazy fucks like me as there are a lot of slopes and steps, and the wedding was pretty damn special. I also went to Tenerife in December for a long weekend and it was great timing as it was a few days in the sun rather than the shite British weather.
Pretty much the highlight of the year though as the safe arrival of my nephew towards the end of it. It’s been a tough road getting to this point for my brother and his wife but they finally got there and he’s a pretty cute little guy, and I say this as someone that normally maintains babies all look the same. I’m really looking forward to seeing him grow up that’s for sure.
There’s not been too many negatives really, I got ill towards the end of the year and chest infections are apparently a thing I get which is delightful, but I took the time to recover rather than just trying to blow through it which is a positive for me. Plus it’s the only illness I’ve really had over the whole year so I can’t really bitch too much about it given it could have been a damn sight worse.
There have been the usual bouts of depression which while shitty are a little easier to cope with it seems. I know for the most part they’ll pass and I’ve gotten better at being a bit more open with the people I care about which has made discussing it all a lot easier when needed, I’m pretty lucky to have so many supportive people in my life really. I’m starting the new year off with one such bout and it’s a bit crap, but I think it’s starting to ease off now so it’ll most likely be much of the same this year, with my being careful to monitor if it gets worse than usual to the point where I need to do something rather than just riding it out.
I think the biggest concern to come out of the year is that I feel myself slipping back into certain behaviours I’ve tried to move past. There have been times when properly drunk where I’ve behaved like a prick and treated people in a manner which I’m ashamed of. Thankfully it’s not been a common theme (that I know of admittedly) but it’s something I’m keen to nip in the bud as soon as possible. Part of that is going to be trying to avoid getting too pissed, merry is one thing but getting arseholed is completely unnecessary with the added “bonus” that I feel shit the following day. It’s something that I’ll be monitoring on top of the depression though, and if I feel like I’m turning back into that wanker then I’ll be going back to counselling straight away.
Going into the new year I don’t have any specific resolutions really, I’ve found that I put undue pressure on myself that where I feel I have to do what I’ve said which is obviously horseshoe to normal people. Essentially the aim as it stands is to focus on being a better friend and person overall, write more, continue getting my sleeve tattoo sorted and to start watching the films I’ve bought that I’ve never actually bothered watching. I’ve made a start on that last one and it’s been pretty good fun so far.
The theory is by keeping things simple I’m going to be more open to unplanned things that happen. Who knows, maybe I’ll even brave online dating again and see about actually going on a date again, stranger things have happened after all. That’s essentially all the planning that’s going into the new year though, and to finish up this article I’ve broken it up with Thor Ragnarok GIFs because why the hell not.